Useful Gibberish

Posts tagged ‘fun’

Consider having a wife

Ok let’s get straight into the story. Suppose that you have a sweetheart that you trust and a stable life already. Now here is pros and cons of “having a wife”
First with the pros, you can listen to this song while reading this part: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjFaenf1T-Y

p1. She can cook better than you:

I don’t know man, but I admit that daily men cooking sucks, for living purpose, for emergency case, men can cook for themselves, but for a healthy and unforgetable meal, there’s no way a trivial man can do. Maybe we can do it, but most of the time we will leave a big mess, and men don’t have good habit to clean the kitchen thoroughly.
That’s all about good food, but she can also stop you from eating bad food and beverage, when you’re alone, you tend to drink more beers, smoke a lot and eat at different time in the day, a good wife can fix it all.

p2. She is neater and cleaner than you:

My girl has real tempting great smooth sexy smell, I tried to have a good smell like her (tried real hard, and obviously the menly way) but it turns out to be too complicated god damn it. And look, we can wear jeans for months, leave dirty clothes for feel weeks, even pick them again from the dirty mess to put on again (there’s no stain, there’s no smell, ok I can re-wear). Ok you already have conclusion on this point.

p3. Good reason to leave party:

This sounds like a wimp for a man, and this works only in Asian culture (mostly), when you hate a party but you can’t leave, a good wife waiting at home is always a good reason to return home. They may laugh at you when you shows the reason, those assholes at the party, but think again, who lives with you, who helps you balance your life, who raises the kids with you, who washes the jeans for you (oh you wahs yourself? I’m here to sympathize)

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p4. Money money money:

Girls may waste money on shoes, clothes etc, but guys are the same: electronic stuff, beer, cigarettes (hell yeah I don’t smoke), games, that’s why a wife is just like a good quality “brake”: “Stop wasting your money” (our money, her money LOL).

p5. Sex:

Isn’t it great and obvious already? Your argument is invalid if you find a whore, that’s not cool, sorry I can’t not give any reason since I don’t do that, but that’s really not cool.

Wife does this when you're not feeling good

Wife does this when you’re not feeling good

 

OK but:
Oh I forgot the music, here is what you need to listen when reading this part: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZO61hWFeC8

c1. Wife can kill you if you don’t pay attention to her:

Love world cup much? Think twice, there are men stabbed by their wife this world cup 2014. Marry a girl that love football, or a understanding wife (difficult, I know right), otherwise turn off the TV and sleep with her, constant check phone for score when having sex LOL.

c2. You don’t have space:

It’s couple’s trouble: you have to leave 3/4 of your bed for her (or even worse). In the bathroom, 80% of the space is for her stuff (remember the good smell thing?).

c3. Again – Sometimes your life is threatened:

You can’t avoid it, your wife sleeps and dreams that you’re cheating, even if you do nothing in real life, pure like a sheep, she can still propably want to kill you: “How dare you cheat me in my dream?”. Nothing you can do.

c4. You hear voice:

Whose voice? You know. Women’s instinct is to talk more than men. If you can’t listen, use the ear plug, but again, you will be killed anytime.

Something to laugh

Well in this hot weather, the best thing to do beside sex and eating pizza is reading something funny to cool down your head, and I do that search for you:

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Vodka is made from potatoes, potatoes are vegetables, and vegetables are good for you. You’re welcome…

How many different animals did we have to jump on the backs of before we discovered horses were cool with it?

If a man said he’ll fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

My resume is really just a list of things I never want to do again.

When someone is murdered, they always investigate the spouse 1st. And that pretty much tells you everything you need to know about marriage.

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Why men should fix their own home

Source: memecenter

A correct definition of love

Found this on internet this morning, I salute the person who wrote this, and I believe it was written by a boy:

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Misc fun 2/4/2014

1. Too bored to stay home. Too lazy to go out.

2. society: be yourself
society: no not like that

3. You’re the shampoo in the eyes of my life.

4. Unless you fell off the treadmill and smacked your face, no one wants to hear about your workout.

5. I’m not the type of person you want to put on speakerphone.

Fun: If all animals were fat

Sự thật phải chấp nhận không nói dối.

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